Say Liza (Liza With A 'Z')

(Kander-Ebb)


(spoken) Oh, as long as you're listening, I feel like I can tell you about something. It's a problem that I have. It's my name. Now, it's really funny, but hardly anybody ever pronounces my name properly. People have this tendency to call me Lisa. And...that's not it. My name is Liza. It's with a Z. Well, for instance, say somebody walks up to me in the street, and they'll say "Hello Lisa, how are you?" And I say "ooh, I'm fine thank you...but it's Liza." Or else they'll say, "Lisa, what a nice hat you have on." And I'll say "oh, thank you very much, but my name is Liza." So you can see it is a problem! They say that people should say things with music. And, so I will! Ladies and gentlemen, on the subject of my name...

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
Cos Lisa with an S goes 'sss' not 'zzz'
It's Z instead of S
Lie instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See? Liza

Li--uh, wait, I'll do it again

It's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
Cos Lisa with an S goes 'sss' not 'zzz'
It's Z instead of S
Lie instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See? Liza

Now, if my name were Ada
I'd be Ada
Even backwards, I'd be Ada
Or if my name were Ruth
Then I'd be Ruth
Because with Ruth, what can you do?
Or Sally, or Margaret
Or Ginger, or Fay
But when you're a Liza
You always have to say

No, it's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
Cos Lisa with an S goes 'sss' not 'zzz'
It's Z instead of S
Lie instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See? Liza

(spoken) Now you see, the main thing to get out of your head is the Lee part of the Lisa. Lee, Lee, Lee, that should go away. And the thing to put into your head is the Lie part of the Liza. You know? Lie Lie Lie Lie Lie Lie Lie. Sigh? Uh, see? Ugh. Skip it!

And that is only half of it
There's another way fate treats me cruelly
How often I remember someone saying
"There she goes! Lisa Minooli!"
Or Minoley, or Mineola,
Or Minalee, or Minalye
So is it a wonder
I very often cry

It's M-I double N
Then E double L-I
Then double up the N
Goes 'nnn' not 'nuu'
Then E double the L
End it with an I
That's the way you say Minnelli
Liza Minnelli
It's Itralian
Blame it on Papa
What can I do?

Every Sandra who's a Sondra
Every Mary who's really Marie
Every Joan who is a Joanne
Is bound to agree with me whe I've announced
I don't mind being pummeled, trampled or trounced
But it does drive you bats to be Miss Mispronounced

Oh, it's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
Cos Lisa with an S goes 'sss' not 'zzz'
It's Z instead of S
Lie instead of Lee
It's simple as can be
See? Liza

Then M-I double N
Then E double L-I
Then double up the N
Goes 'nnn' not 'nuu'
Then E double the L
End it with an I
That's the way you say Minnelli
Liza Minnelli
It's easy
It's easy
It's Leezy--NO!
Liiiiizzzaaaaa!


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